For me, it was a year filled with change. I graduated college and moved in with my boyfriend of six years. Our little family grew bigger as we brought our cat, Mushroom, and lizard, Reginald, into our new home. Taylor got a good job in Milwaukee while I took some time off and figured out what I wanted to do next. Ultimately, I decided to go to grad school, launched this blog and started working at a public library.
While I'm extremely grateful for all these new changes 2014 has brought into my suddenly adult life, I can't help but feel a bit ... too mature. As a kid, Christmas seemed like the best day in the world, but as I have gotten older, that Christmas sparkle has started to fade.
This year no one brought me to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. St. Nick didn't stop by my house at the beginning of December. I wasn't part of an art class where I could make a shitty ceramic mug and give it to someone who loved it like it was the best gift they've ever gotten.
For me, this time of year forces me to remember – sadly – that I'm no longer a kid. So far, today has just been another day for me. I emptied the dishwasher, did some laundry, worked out, paid some bills and prepared some food for tonight's family celebration. Too adult, especially on Christmas Eve, right?
Right now, at age 22, I'm in that awkward phase where I'm young enough to still feel like a kid, but nowhere near ready to have kids of my own. Luckily, I know that one day when I do have kids, I'll be able to see the Christmas sparkle again, through their eyes instead of my own (which might be even better). But for now, I'll just have to wing it.
Here's to trying to take things a little less seriously this holiday season, and hanging on to my childhood a little more tightly. As I used to say as a kid, I'm a "big girl, baby too." And I'm proud to say I always will be.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone!
“Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.” – Laura Ingalls Wilder